


i scream and wave my arms but you don't understand me

by dancingmalum



Series: 5sos gay one shots [12]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Bottom Luke, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, Insecure Luke, M/M, Michael Being A Dick, Smut, Top Michael, jalex is just mentioned, kind of, muke hate each other kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 03:55:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8517598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancingmalum/pseuds/dancingmalum
Summary: Luke stares at Michael from across the room, but it seems like the older boy has no idea. He keeps laughing at things Alex Gaskarth (!!) says, and Michael seems cool, he's talking smoothly to the Alex Gaskarth and he's not freaking out about it, his voice isn't shaking, he doesn't even seem nervous. Luke's jealous of both Alex Gaskarth himself and the way Michael isn't freaking the fuck out.Michael never even glances at Luke, he's looking around at everyone in the room but him, it's painful. Luke's not saying much, there's nothing for him to say, except the occasional add in about a song they're writing."We could have some part about hooking up with hot girls," Calum grins, and Luke feels like sinking into the couch."Luke, you should know about that, right?" Michael asks, a smirk on his face as he stares back at Luke for the first time in a few days. "Wait, never mind, you're gay as hell."The guys all laugh, and Michael's already done staring at him. Luke's heart is burning, along with his flushed cheeks, and he wants to hide and never see Michael or the incredibly cool Alex Gaskarth ever again.





	

Luke stares at Michael from across the room, but it seems like the older boy has no idea. He keeps laughing at things Alex Gaskarth (!!) says, and Michael seems cool, he's talking smoothly to the Alex Gaskarth and he's not freaking out about it, his voice isn't shaking, he doesn't even seem nervous. Luke's jealous of both Alex Gaskarth himself and the way Michael isn't freaking the fuck out.

Michael never even glances at Luke, he's looking around at everyone in the room but him, it's painful. Luke's not saying much, there's nothing for him to say, except the occasional add in about a song they're writing.

"We could have some part about hooking up with hot girls," Calum grins, and Luke feels like sinking into the couch.

"Luke, you should know about that, right?" Michael asks, a smirk on his face as he stares back at Luke for the first time in a few days. "Wait, never mind, you're gay as hell. Ash, you got a ton of stories, right?"

The guys all laugh, and Michael's already done staring at him, he's focused on listening to Ashton. Luke's heart is burning, along with his flushed cheeks, and he wants to hide and never see Michael or the incredibly cool Alex Gaskarth ever again. Michael purposely embarrassed the hell out of him in front of the coolest dude in the world, but yet that's not why Luke's close to tears.

"Luke, you okay?" Alex asks, sitting down close to his right side, and Luke nods, shaken up a bit. He didn't see Alex get up and walk towards him, and he can't speak to say he's okay. "You sure? What's wrong?"

"N-nothing," Luke mumbles, stuttering embarrassingly, but it's still not as embarrassing as Michael making fun of him.

"I'll get you some water, you look hot," Alex says, and before Luke can protest, he's getting up and leaving the room. Luke looks over at Michael, who's glancing up at Ashton and writing things inside the band notebook. It's almost like he doesn't care about Luke, he's ignoring and doing a damn good job of it. Luke stands up, slowly making his way to the kitchen. He smiles weakly at Alex and accepts the glass of ice water, taking a large gulp of it. "What's bothering you?"

"Michael," Luke sighs, glancing down and biting his lip kind of shyly. "He's just being an ass."

"Was it because he said you're gay? Because that is really rude of him, I can talk to him and get him to stop calling you gay if you're not-"

"It's fine, I am gay, I just- he promised not to tell anyone and I trusted him. I'm just upset, it's nothing," Luke tries to make it seem like he doesn't really care that much, but when he looks back at Alex, he can tell that he know there's something going on between Michael and him.

"The other day he showed me a song he wrote," Alex says, and Luke confused because he didn't expect him to change the subject. "He said it's about you."

"I don't care about him anymore, I don't wanna deal with him," Luke says, setting the glass down on the counter and going back to the couch to sulk and stare at Michael. He sinks down next to Calum this time, he's closer to Michael, but he's craving Calum's soft hands because he knows Michael won't rub his sides or run his fingers through his hair in front of anybody.

"Hey, Luke," Calum murmurs, and just like Luke hoped, one arm wraps around him and sneaks underneath his shirt so he can rub his thumb against Luke's skin. Luke glances at Michael, who's now got an acoustic guitar in his hand and listening to John Feldmann tell him chords.

Luke scowls and buries his head in Calum's shoulder.

~

"He's just mad cause I basically told Alex he's gay," Luke can hear Michael saying smugly to Ashton. "He should be happy. I bet they're gonna hook up sometime."

Luke really feels like he hates Michael, but he can't. He can't hate Michael ever, he loves him too much.

"Apologise. That was mean," Ashton's saying back.

"Nah, he'll get over it," Michael says, and Luke tunes out their conversation and puts on headphones to ignore them. He's laying alone in his bed in his room, and all he's got is his phone and earbuds. Nothing better than listening to sad heartbreak songs in the same bed that Luke and Michael kissed in. Three times. It's really the best feeling.

But it's not, it's nothing like the comfort he was seeking when he shuffled his sad song playlist, he expected to drift asleep with calming acoustic guitars and angelic voices, but instead he's crying. Luke hates it. It's painful and his heart is burning even more now, it's stinging and burning and clenching and exploding all at once, Luke's a wreck.

His door opens, and Luke's roughly rubbing his face from tears and tossing his phone across the bed, his earbuds flying out of his ears and clattering against the metal bed frame where the sheets were scrunched and exposing the metal. Michael walks in, closing the door a little louder than necessary.

"You think Alex wants to fuck you now that he knows your gay?" Michael asks, a smug grin on his face. Luke doesn't answer, he's not going to give Michael the reaction that he wants. He's not giving in this time. "Oh come on, babe, lighten up," Michael says, and Luke stands up, grabbing his phone and avoiding eye contact as he tries to walk past to leave. "You little shit," Michael hisses, moving to block the door.

"Let me leave, Michael. I'm not playing your game anymore, you're just fucking with my feelings," Luke says calmly enough, still avoiding Michael's eyes.

"Fine," Michael snaps, and leaves before Luke does. Luke puts his earbuds back in and stuffs his phone back into his pocket, going to Calum's room to lay in his bed because he knows Michael won't go there to look for him. He falls asleep cuddling Calum's body pillow a while later, and his dreams aren't much better than reality.

~

"If you change this C major chord to a D major chord, it'll accent the F sharp and take away uncomfortable dissonance," Luke says, it's the first thing he's said all day and it's already 10 in the morning. Alex looks at him like he's a genius, and says it, too.

"Genius, Luke, that's incredible," he says, and Luke blushes a little and looks down, he accidentally caught Michael's gaze. Calum sings the chorus and plays it with the new chord, smiling at Luke while doing so.

"I liked the dissonance, the F sharp and E sounded cool together," Michael says. Luke slouches and sighs, he thought he did something good, but Michael's knocking him down. It hurts, just like the embarrassment did yesterday.

"We can change it back to C major," Luke says quietly.

"It sounds better with the D major chord, we're not using C," Alex says, his voice firm. Michael shuts right up.

A while later, it's time for lunch and Luke makes sure to sit himself down next to Alex just in case Michael decides to fuck with him again. Alex smiles at him and Luke smiles back, silently thanking him for standing up for him.

"John makes the best smoothies, doesn't he?" Alex asks, clinking glasses with Luke, who nods in agreement.

"John's good at everything," Luke laughs. "I wish I were as cool as him."

"Oh come on, what about me? Am I not cool enough for you?"

"Okay, okay, you're right. You were my crush all through high school, I didn't even know John existed then," Luke admits. Alex awes and ruffles Luke's hair playfully, making him blush.

"He still does have a crush on you," Michael says as he passes by, and Luke's done.

"You know what, Michael? Shut your fucking mouth, I've had enough of your shit." Luke stands up and sets his plate down on the table just as Michael's setting his plate down next to Calum, and Luke grabs him by the collar of his shirt before he could sit down. "Stop fucking with me, I told you yesterday that I was down with your shit, so you need to fucking back off."

"I need to back off? Get your disgusting hands off of me, you need to back off," Michael snaps, prying Luke's fingers off of his shirt, making the blonde cry out in pain.

"Just stop messing with me and we won't have an issue, Michael, it shouldn't be that fucking hard to get it through your thick skull," Luke glares. He can tell that everyone else is scared to cut in and say anything, Alex's jaw is dropped at Luke standing up for himself and John is just watching the scene unfold.

Then Michael throws a punch, and that's when Calum stands up and grabs Michael by the waist to get him away from Luke, and Alex stands up to check out Luke's face that took the punch. Luke, though, nearly throws himself on top of Michael to get a few good punches to his smug face, and Alex is pulling him away from the coloured haired boy as best as he can, although Luke and Michael are both just hitting each other uncontrollably.

"I hate you, Michael, I fucking hate you," Luke sneers as Alex tries to pull him back. A few seconds later, Ashton's helping get him away, and the two of them drag Luke away as Luke flips Michael off with a glare.

"Luke, what the hell!" Ashton exclaims, letting go of him, making him almost fall over, but Alex catches him.

"He deserved it, he's being such an ass and I actually hate him right now. He won't just leave me alone."

"I know, Luke, but you're letting him get to you. All he wants is a reaction out of you, he just wants to see you get mad and react to him. He's trying to get your attention," Alex says. "Jack, the one in my band, he used to do that to me all the time before I realised what he was trying to do. I think we're pretty similar, you and me, Luke. Jack and I dated and messed around for a while before we were famous, but then we got into a lot of fights and a bunch of shit happened. You just gotta let him get over you, okay?"

"You and Jack dated?" Luke asks, he thought Alex was straight (he's married to a girl!).

"Yeah, I'm bisexual and he is too. But did you get what I'm trying to say?"

"Yeah," Luke sighs. "I'm just pissed. I trusted him, and then he said what I told him not to tell anybody. And I don't have a crush on you still, I fucking love Michael and I shouldn't because I hate him and he sure as hell hates me-" Luke cuts himself off and starts crying, and Alex wraps his arms around him. Luke hates how he's crying in front of Alex Gaskarth, the coolest guy he's ever met, and he hates that he's crying over Michael.

"I know, I know, he's being horrible right now, but just think; soon he'll get over making fun of you and you won't have these fights anymore," Alex comforts him, and Luke tries to calm himself down. It's no use crying over Michael, Alex is right.

"We never even dated. We just kissed a few times and when I told him that I liked him, he started making fun of me," Luke sniffles. "I know he's not even straight and he makes fun of me for being gay." Alex pulls back from their hug and Luke notices that Ashton's not there anymore, he's probably scolding Michael for hitting Luke first. "Whatever. He's just a dick, I'll deal with it."

"You did good with standing up for yourself by the way," Alex smiles, and Luke cracks a small smile as well. "Aside from trying to beat the shit out of Michael, anyways."

"He deserved it," Luke shrugs, the smile still gracing his lips. Alex laughs, and Luke feels so much better.

~

Luke's been smiling since him and Alex talked, and he's been doing a damn good job of subtly ignoring Michael at the same time. Luke has already written a full song with Calum and Alex, and he's halfway through writing another one with Ashton, Calum, Michael, Alex, and John, but he's still subtly ignoring Michael and he feels great about it. It's time Michael gets a taste of his own poison.

Michael's not said much, he's staying quiet (Alex whispered to Luke that he's been staring at the blonde since they started writing again), and Luke's happy. Of course he still loves Michael, it's going to take a long time to get over him, but he's content with making Michael mildly suffer.

"Bye, Luke," Alex whispers, hugging the blonde tightly. They won't see each other for almost a full week, the next songwriting session they have together is almost a week away. "Just text me or call me at any time, I'll always be here for you," he promises, and Luke smiles into his chest.

"Thank you so much, Alex, you're the best," Luke says, pulling back and smiling over his shoulder as the 5sos boys leave John's house.

"So, Luke, you and Alex dating?" Michael asks as soon as they get into the car, and Ashton and Calum nervously glance between the two.

"No, we're just friends. He's married anyways," Luke responds, keeping his cool. He still doesn't look at Michael, he's not giving up quite yet.

"No he's not, he's not married," Michael scoffs, so Luke laughs and googles Alex and his wife, pulling up pictures of their wedding. He shows his phone to Michael.

"Yeah he is, he's been married for months," Luke says.

"Whatever. You probably still love him anyways."

Luke chooses not to respond, he remembers what Alex told him. He knows that Michael's just trying to piss him off, and he's doing better at ignoring it already. He feels like he's in control of himself for once, he doesn't feel like Michael's ruining him anymore. It's only been a month or so of Michael making fun of Luke, but it's been hell.

About an hour later, Luke steps out of the car and thanks the driver through the open door, following Ashton and Calum to the front door of their shared (temporary) house. Michael's right after Luke when they step into the door, and Luke gasps as the door slams and he's pushed up against it by Michael.

"You think you're cute, Luke? Trying to ignore me like that, I know you don't want to," Michael smirks, and Luke sighs.

"Leave me alone, please, I'm done with you fucking with me," Luke says softly, he's trying not to loose his temper. But then instead of replying, Michael presses his lips to Luke's and the blonde is done. He kisses back and rests one hand on the older boy's waist and the other on the back of his neck, pulling him closer. Their kiss is sloppy and hot, there's so many emotions poured into it and Luke can't believe it.

"I thought they hated each other, when they fought today-" Calum starts to say, but he stops mid-sentence. Luke doesn't care, he just moans softly when one of Michael's hands let go of his shoulder and tug on his hair. When Michael pulls back a little, their eyes meet and they just stare at each other.

"I'm sorry for being such an ass, I know I've been horrible-"

"No, don't," Luke interrupts. "I just want to know; do you want me or do you not?"

"It's complicated, Lu, I-"

"It's not complicated, Michael! Do you, or do you not?"

"Lu, babe, listen to me," Michael says, his eyes nearly begging. Luke sighs and lets him speak. "I really do love you, I just- the fans, I can't lie to them like that and pretend like we're not together, because I don't want to keep something like this from them. I don't want you getting hate," Michael tries to explain, but it doesn't explain Michael's own hate towards him.

"So you don't want the fans to give me shit, but you yourself give me shit? I'm not understanding you, Michael," Luke shakes his head.

"I thought you hated me, I didn't think you loved me because of the way I acted when you first told, but I still don't even know, and I didn't want you knowing that I love you so much so I tried to hide it by making fun of you and I feel so bad, babe, I'm a terrible person and I don't deserve you, but I love you, Luke, I love you," Michael spills all at once, and it takes Luke a few seconds to get it.

"Mikey..." Luke says slowly, glancing between each eye to try to see if he was being serious or not. "I love you, god, I love you, but I just... I don't know if I can handle this if it happens again. I've been a wreck, I'm a mess, I just- I don't know if I can do this again," Luke says softly.

"I promise my life that I won't ever do that to you again, babe, I feel horrible-"

Luke pulls him close again and kisses him harshly, and Michael lets out a surprised noise, but moans shortly after. One of his hands tug on Luke's hair again while the other slides down his back to squeeze Luke's bum, making him gasp into the kiss. Luke feels like he's on fire and he loves it, Michael's touch sends flames through his whole body and fuck, he's starting to get hard.

"Please, guys, not on the front door," Ashton whines, and they pull apart to look at him. "Go somewhere else, I don't want to see your nasty... Um... Yeah," he cringes, and Luke and Michael laugh. Their hands find each other's and they quickly make their way up to Luke's room, since it's closest.

"Sorry for punching you," Michael says once Luke's laying on his bed. He straddles the blonde, cupping his face and examining the forming bruise on his face. "Fuck, I didn't mean to hit you that hard, I'm so sorry," he mumbles, eyes worried.

"I didn't mean to hit you that hard either, I'm sorry too," Luke replies, leaning up a little and frowning at the forming bruise on Michael's face, probably similar to his own. Michael pushes him down so he's relaxed before kissing him again, slowly pushing his hips down against Luke to gage his reaction. "Oh fuck, Mikey," Luke gasps, tossing his head back. Michael kisses down his neck and leaves a mark on his collarbone, thrusting his hips harder onto Luke's.

"Clothes, get them off," Michael mumbles onto Luke's skin, hands tugging on Luke's shirt. Luke manages a small laugh through his heavy breaths and pulls his shirt off, and he's immediately met with positive words from Michael's lips. "God, Lu, you're so beautiful. You're fucking perfect, babe." Luke blushes and shyly smiles, his hands pulling Michael's shirt off as well. "Wish I could've told you earlier, love you so much."

Before Luke can respond, Michael palms him through his jeans and he lets out a whimper and bucks his hips up, encouraging Michael to keep going. He does, and Luke's a mess under his control.

"You're so good for me, Lu, you look so good," Michael says softly, starting to unbutton Luke's jeans, but the younger boy panics and pushes his hands away.

"Not that far, I can't go that far yet," he says quickly, and Michael nods and kisses him for a second. "Just- something else, we can do what we were doing before," he suggests, and Michael smiles fondly and the blonde stumbling over his words.

"Of course, I don't want to do anything you're uncomfortable with," Michael assures, then presses his hips down against Luke's again, checking his face to be sure it's okay. Luke moans and bucks his hips up again. "This okay?"

"Yeah, fuck, don't stop doing that," he whimpers.

"Don't stop," Michael mumbles close to Luke's ear, and Luke laughs and shakes his head, but then gasps when Michael suddenly grinds down harder. "You feel so good, babe."

"I-I'm gonna come, Mikey, I'm so close," Luke whines, and he eagerly kisses Michael back when he leans down. It's only a matter of a minute or so when Luke can't kiss him back as he orgasms, they're just breathing the same air, and a few seconds after Luke comes, Michael does too, groaning loudly.

"Fuck, Luke, you made me come so hard," Michael tells him, giving him another kiss, but this one's slow and gentle. Michael takes his time to swipe his tongue across Luke's bottom lip before entering his mouth, and it feels so intimate. Luke loves it, he loves Michael.

"Love you," he whispers after pulling back slightly.

"Love you too," Michael whispers back with a fond smile, pressing one more soft kiss to Luke's lips before moving so he's cuddling the blonde like they used to.

(Luke later texts Alex saying that him and Michael are together, and Alex replies with a winky face.)


End file.
